Monday, February 27, 2012

Insanity.....No not the Workout!

When it rains, it pours. Time and time again this old saying has proven true, but none more so than the last few weeks. Really, I dont remember a time when so many emotions were pumping through my body within this length of time!
It's not a negative thing! There have been some really great elements to the last few weeks, but also there have been some heart wrenching times.
One new and exciting piece of news is the newest member of my family. Her name is Molly. She is 13 lbs, brown hair, brown eyes, and a wet nose. Thats right, I got a puppy! She has taken over my life in many ways but I still am grateful to have her! My sleep schedule is completely different and she has caused a few "tiffs" with my mother but overall I'd say she is fitting in just fine. I love taking her on walks and with the exception of a small biting problem, she is turning into a great dog!
Another part of the last few weeks was my chance to visit Saline, MI!! I did an internship there and was so excited to return for a visit! I have always felt a deep connection since leaving and it was great to touch base with them again! I was, however, pretty challenged while I was there. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I am called to youth ministry, however I am feeling a bit stuck right now. Luckily through some great conversations, I have become more motivated to look diligently for a position. I just have to remember that I am not God, sounds simple but not always obvious for a control freak like me :)
Sadly, in the midst of all of the good things that have happened, there have also been some very sad elements. One being that my Mom and I have been to four funeral viewings in two weeks! Whether the deceased was young or old, each one was difficult to attend. I think the hardest part was the realizsation that I do not want to die before I have the chance to really live. There are so mnay many things I want to do in my life that I have yet to accomplish. Sure there are the obvious ones like get married, have a family, own a home with a picket fence.....the basics :) But also there are things like lead a person to Christ or visit France or go on a legit road trip. I cant help but wonder if I am living my life like a bird free to roam and fly or as one who has become content in my cage. I want to break out....fly....maybe even do some tricks while flying.....but I'm not one to fly alone. All of that to say, I dont want to just live, but I want to feel alive!
Care to join?