Since getting a dog, I've been taking more regular walks at night. Despite the frequent bites at my ankles and the necessary reminders to not eat rocks, I've grown to really love my nightly walks. The truth is, however, I think I like them more than Molly does!
Every time I walk at night, I sing to myself the old time lyrics of Patsy Cline. Reality is, even when I lived in Huntington I would often walk at night to clear my head and the same lyrics would run through my mind.
"I go out walking after midnight out in the moonlight just like we used to do. I'm always walking after midnight searching for you."
I would assume this is a song of a true love gone wrong. The woman, devastated by the breakup, turns to walking the familiar streets alone that she once walked with her love. It definitely has a romantic element as she hopes that the same man will be doing the same thing and in a perfect Hollywood sequence they would reunite. Don't get me wrong, I admit that I truly am a hopeless romantic, but that's not where my mind necessarily is as I contemplate the lyrics when I walk.
After a crazy year that has seemingly not gone at all as I had planned, I think the real thing I am searching for as I aimlessly stroll through the night is closure. Some tangible thing that makes the insanity of the past year seem clear and purposeful. It is interesting to me that Patsy sings of the hope she has that the love of her life will find her while she is out walking. In a very similar way, I cant help but hope that in the midst of my walking, thinking, processing, praying, and singing of these famous lyrics, that something of value will find me and make things all better. I don't really think it will jump out of any tree or fall from the night sky. I just think it might come more as a little nugget of wisdom or a reminder or something that I have forgotten. When you "walk" so long without finding what you're searching for, the temptation to give up and move on with your life is furiously present.
At the end of the day, however, I suppose I should not give up on looking, searching, and processing. And neither should you. Don't give up on whatever it is that drives you. Like Patsy, remember the feelings that you once held toward it and do not waiver. It may mean you look foolish as you walk your ankle biting dog around at night humming to yourself a tune that was popular 25 years before you were born. That's OK!
A wise person once said “Life's real failure is when you do not realize how close you were to success when you gave up"
Stick with it....whatever "it" is!